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What is the blue pearl?

June 21, 2014 By Shae Hadden

I’ve heard that meditators often see a blue pearl of light just the moment before enlightenment. They say that blue pearl represents the potential of the Universe.

The blue pearl is a metaphor for what I see is at the heart of effective coaching relationships. I’ve observed masterful coaches relating to their clients as if they were a blue pearl. As if they were pure possibility. That’s where the magic of coaching lies—in that “blue pearl” way of relating to another person.

I also use the image of the blue pearl in my work with coaches as a reminder of the larger context in which we all operate: that is, our beautiful blue planet. Yes, we have a responsibility to our clients. But we also have a responsibility for the wellbeing of this blue pearl as well. One does not exist without the other.

And so, if you are a coach, I invite you to see yourself not just as a guide, but also as a leader and a co-creator of our shared future.

It is up to us to contribute what is uniquely ours to give to the wellbeing of humanity and the planet.

You and I—we—are the ones we have been waiting for.

This blog post by Shae Hadden is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.

Doing what the world needs

January 11, 2014 By Shae Hadden

What are you focusing on this year? What you want from the world—or what the world needs of you?

Many of us make resolutions or intentions that move us towards what we like and away from what we dislike. We aim for more money. More fame. More power. Or perhaps better health and better relationships. Some of us are inspired by a life with less stress, less struggle, less scarcity. Some people prefer to help others experience some specific “more”, “better”, or “less”.

Do not do what you like—do what the world needs. Doing what you like is not freedom. Likes and dislikes are compulsive.
—Sadhguru

For me, last year was about finishing my book on coaching. What motivated me was observing that some of the leaders I was in conversation with didn’t really “get” the possibility of coaching. They had listened to others talk and write “about” coaching techniques and styles and approaches. But they still had no sense of what being coached was like or what it could be. They didn’t know what they needed to know to even begin to consider whether it might be valuable to them and their organizations.

I felt drawn to write something that would help them see coaching from many perspectives. From the perspectives of all kinds of coaches. From the perspectives of coachees who, like them, have approached coaching with questions, hesitations, and doubts. And from my perspective as a coach and coachee.

The Blue Pearl went live on Amazon a couple of days ago. It will, I hope, help people make informed choices for themselves about whether coaching is for them at this time. And also reflect back to coaches what mastery looks like in their work.

I feel exuberant at finishing the work of producing a book.

And now another adventure begins: the exploration of what the world (and perhaps the book) needs of me next.

Stay tuned…

This blog post by Shae Hadden is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.

Image from qimono on Pixabay

Wabi-Sabi Season

February 16, 2013 By Shae Hadden

I think we’ve hit wabi-sabi season. The season to practice honoring and accepting the natural cycle of growth, decay and death. The time for a simple, uncluttered paring down to essentials. A time to find beauty in imperfection.

I feel like everything in my life is being pared down, and then pared down again. Inessential things seem to be falling away: possessions, fantasies, beliefs. What no longer resonates is dropping away. Even the net we all long to find underneath us is disappearing.

I’m coming face to face with my soul.

I look in the mirror and see the eyes of a sweet little blue-eyed girl staring back at me with the sad wisdom of a grown woman. I want to love what I see: the sun glinting copper on greying curls, the frayed edge of a favorite sweater, the smile wrinkles, and the collar hiding a Katherine Hepburn-like neck. I want to believe that there’s a quiet kind of beauty—a field of gold—in each of us just waiting to be discovered.

But Wabi-sabi season comes with not-so-welcome storms of tears.

The unfulfilled hopes of that little girl cry out to me. I’m suddenly grieving a haunted heart. Mourning the passage of time and unlived possibilities. Grieving who I am no longer. Crying out because this body I call mine is impermanent and will one day return to dust. Grieving for the state of the world.

In between cloudbursts, I talk with my coaches. And catch glimpses of that field of gold.

In the midst of this letting go, I’m beginning to see the beauty of cracks and imperfections. I’m beginning to discover the beauty of the soul.

Meanwhile, what remains in my life I care for with fresh precision and appreciation now—especially trusted relationships with coaches, friends and colleagues.

I wonder what will come after wabi-sabi….

Photo credit: Flickr Nick McPhee

Being Coached by Shae Hadden is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.

Thinking Together

February 9, 2013 By Shae Hadden

Working with coaches has given me amazing opportunities to experience what it is to think together. Not the same as talking together. Or listening deeply to each other. The conversations we have seem more like pioneering adventures than agenda-driven talks. And yet, we somehow accomplish all—if not more—than we intend to. Fresh insights appear, new ideas, synchronistic experiences.

In our dialogues, we suspend the idea that either of us are our point of view … and then we listen and look together at what is happening and what’s wanting to emerge. The quality of the conversation feels in some moments like lasers cutting through layers of mud: in others, like water running swiftly through a narrowing channel. Sometimes words tumble out in a rush: sometimes they emerge like popcorn on a burner, slowly at first, then speeding up in pace and number. Sometimes notable silences punctuate our thinking.

In the last two weeks, I’ve observed more and more of these ‘thinking together’ conversations happening with people besides my coaches. Coincidentally, at about the same time, I changed my email signature to include this quote:

The biggest sources of opportunity are collaboration and partnership.”
Mark Parker, CEO, Nike

I wonder which of these new conversations will actually turn into opportunities for collaboration.

Stay tuned…

This blog post by Shae Hadden is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.

Photo credit: Flickr AJ Cann

Focus on Creating

September 30, 2012 By Shae Hadden

I love creating. Actually, I love creating what matters to me in the moment. Each completed creation becomes a foundation for new creations. The more I exercise my creating, the more creations I complete, the easier it is to conceive of something I couldn’t see before.

I’ve found it difficult in the last while to let go of some of my old creations. Ones that mattered to me very much when I was making them. But now, if I’m really honest with myself, they do not resonate with what matters most to me in this moment. Hanging on to them out of fondness or obligation or responsibility has me stuck. Hanging on to them feels egocentric, like a painter attached to their canvas, unwilling to sell their creation when millions of art appreciators could be enjoying it. Not that I’ve done anything wrong in owning my creations. It’s just time to let go and focus again on creating.

“When you are creating, where is the focus?
In the real creative process, it is on the creation and not on one’s self.”
Robert Fritz, Creating

A new era in my life beckons.

This week I brought a list of what I want to create next in my life to my coach. After seeing the number of items, he reminded me that I don’t have to create them all simultaneously, and that there is wisdom in choosing which ones to focus on first. And so, I selected my top 4 picks. I don’t have reasons for why these particular 4, and why not 4 others. Or even why I want any of what I want. These things matter to me simply because they matter to me.

No justification required.

What are you consciously choosing to create in your life today?

This blog post by Shae Hadden is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.

GPS Unrest

September 23, 2012 By Shae Hadden

Have you ever found yourself without a GPS device, driving in the dark late at night, looking for a sign indicating you’re heading in the right direction? I don’t know about you, but for me, as time goes by, I find it increasingly difficult to remain calm and confident that the last choice I made was the right one. I have no idea whether I’m heading straight into difficulties or moving closer to my destination. So I drive with a bit more caution, a bit less speed, until I find a sign or until there’s more light on the situation.

When we’re on the road to realizing our vision, GPS radio signals and signposts can sometimes elude us. Let’s be clear here. I’m no Pollyana. I expect to experience frustration and loss in my life. Just as I expect to experience joy and abundance.

What I hadn’t expected in my book-writing journey was to encounter this state of uneasiness at this point. The signs have been clear all along that this is the way I have to go. There must be something I’m missing, something I haven’t done or something I haven’t said to have me be anxious now. Something’s out of sync or I wouldn’t be craving some rest from this GPS unrest.

A coach and dear colleague reminded me this week of the following quote.

“…it is the way he has to go, the journey toward it is the only life he enjoys. It is hard; it is exciting; it is satisfying, lonely, joyous, frustrating, puzzling, enlightening, real; it is his life, that’s all. He accepts it.”
Paul Williams, Das Energi

And another dear friend, also a coach, reminds me often that “The only way out is through.”

So I’m choosing to rest with my unrest, to keep moving my body through time and space, to do things that ground me in the present. And meanwhile, consider where I’ve been hesitating to act or acting with hesitation. Wherever my intentions and actions are out of sync.

These will be my signposts.

This blog post by Shae Hadden is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.

Image by StockSnap from Pixabay

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